¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

human and war

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-10-16 1297

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is impossible to overcome wars even we have UN in the world for keeping our peace.

Every countries persue their own interests and benefit first even they deprive of something of other country.

We can't remove in the world because dictators are increasing more and more unfortunately like Putine, Xijinping and Hamas and so on.

We should look out destorted and blind faithfu belief toward religion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Lily!

Keep going and never give up!

-Hanna ^^

It is impossible to overcome wars even we have UN in the world for keeping our peace.

>>It is impossible to overcome wars even though we have the UN in the world to keep our peace.
Every countries persue their own interests and benefit first even they deprive of something of other country.

>>Every country pursues its own interests and benefits first, even if it means depriving another country of something. 
We can't remove in the world because dictators are increasing more and more unfortunately like Putine, Xijinping and Hamas and so on.

>>We can't eradicate this issue in the world because dictators are increasing more and more, unfortunately, like Putin, Xi Jinping, Hamas, and so on.
We should look out destorted and blind faithfu belief toward religion.

>>We should be wary of distorted and blind faith in religion.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131213 How can you adapt the everyday things you do to increase your... À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 840
131212 HOMEWOrK ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 0
131211 If a group of people just came to your country from overseas,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 850
131210 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 0
131209 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 747
131208 \'NukeX\' program ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1160
131207 What will be your first reaction if you meet a famous movie star? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1024
131206 Traveling alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1454
131205 HOMEWORK-230921 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131204 Do you prefer ordering food in person, by phone, or online? Á¤*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1641
131203 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1269
131202 WRITING TASK: What are some reasons why people might not meet... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131201 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1173
131200 sex education ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1426
131199 What food from other countries would you like to try? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 3
131198 About silent spring. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1451
131197 Have you ever visited a national park or wildlife sanctuary?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1454
131196 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1215
131195 What\"s your favorite about your home country? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1671
131194 Monday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04