¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what is insomnia? Please give its pros (if it has) and cons.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-08-05 1192

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Insomnia is a sleep disorder where people have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep as long as desired. Insomnia can last a few days or months depending its seriousness. If you are in insomnia, you need to treat it as soon as possible because insomnia is usually followed by daytime sleepiness, low energy and often a drepssed mind. Statistically, old men are more susceptible to insomnia than young men and females are more vulnerable than male. So It takes old men and women more care to prevent insomnia than young people and males respectively.

If you have someone with early stage symptoms of insomnia or in insomnia around you, you need to be careful because insomnia is reported to be affected by genetics to some extent. If you're already in insomnia, doctors advise not to rely on sleeping pills for long-term use for no reason. They suggest that it is very important to identify and treat medical conditions contributing to insomnia, such as depression and breathing problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great job, Steve! Thank you for doing your homework religiously. Continue to practice and if you have some questions, feel free to ask me. Thank you and see you in class! ~ T.Gelly


Insomnia is a sleep disorder where people have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep as long as desired. 
>> Insomnia is a sleep disorder where people have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep as long as desired. 
Insomnia can last a few days or months depending its seriousness. 
>> Correct!
OR
>> It can last for a few days or even months depending on how serious it is.
If you are in insomnia, you need to treat it as soon as possible because insomnia is usually followed by daytime sleepiness, low energy and often a drepssed mind. 
>> If you have insomnia, you need to treat it as soon as possible because it is usually followed by daytime drowsiness, weary and often mind depression.
Statistically, old men are more susceptible to insomnia than young men and females are more vulnerable than male. 
>> Statistically, old men are more susceptible to insomnia than young men and females are more vulnerable than males.
So It takes old men and women more care to prevent insomnia than young people and males respectively.
>> So it takes older men and women more attention to prevent insomnia than young people and males.
If you have someone with early stage symptoms of insomnia or in insomnia around you, you need to be careful because insomnia is reported to be affected by genetics to some extent. 
>> Suppose you know someone with early-stage symptoms of insomnia or insomnia around you. In that case, you need to be careful because insomnia is reported to be affected by genetics to some extent.
If you're already in insomnia, doctors advise not to rely on sleeping pills for long-term use for no reason. 
>> If you're already in insomnia, doctors advise you not to rely on sleeping pills for long-term use for no reason. 
They suggest that it is very important to identify and treat medical conditions contributing to insomnia, such as depression and breathing problems.
>> They will suggest that it is vital to identify and treat medical conditions contributing to insomnia, such as depression and breathing problems.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131366 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131365 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 575
131364 WRITING TASK: Are you satisfied with the supermarkets in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131363 If you had a company, will you hire a professional or an amateur... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131362 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131361 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131360 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131359 231002- HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131358 homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 607
131357 230927- HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131356 When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 668
131355 What Korean snack would you highly recommend to foreign people?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 1
131354 Have you used a ride-sharing service, or do you prefer to be the... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 0
131353 How do Koreans normally celebrte Chuseok? Write as much detail... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 1
131352 Unsure future plan ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 742
131351 How do you stay organized and manage your time effectively when... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 574
131350 How I feel when I am not prepared for something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-30 929
131349 How would the world be a better place if we used only clean... À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 0
131348 Are you happy to be living in the ¡®Information Age¡¯? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 0
131347 Which country produces the best cars? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04