¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Traveling!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-08-02 2213

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi So Yun!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please be careful with subject and verb agreement.
If you have any questions, you can always ask in class.
Keep up the good work.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
>> Some good things about traveling are that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131865 tour ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 1343
131864 Have you ever planned to work in a hospital? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 3
131863 Do you like attending family gatherings? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 3
131862 23.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 1
131861 Are there any special holidays or celebrations that people might... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 1762
131860 HOMEWORK _1 ¼Û*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 1320
131859 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131858 ¡°Half of writing history is hiding the truth.¡± What do you... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2
131857 homework 10.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1489
131856 homework_231023 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1924
131855 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 0
131854 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2
131853 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131852 Where do you see yourself in 5 years? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1665
131851 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2
131850 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2
131849 What are the toughest jobs in the world? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1588
131848 > Do you agree that hand written letters are considered more... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2443
131847 What are some alternative ways to enjoy Halloween or other big... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131846 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04