¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Traveling!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-08-02 2218

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi So Yun!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please be careful with subject and verb agreement.
If you have any questions, you can always ask in class.
Keep up the good work.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
>> Some good things about traveling are that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131916 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1454
131915 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1855
131914 How happy are you with your English level? How do you describe... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1922
131913 Who are the world¡¯s biggest war criminals? Write about one... ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1886
131912 WRITING TASK: Describe the last picnic you had. What was it like? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 3
131911 homework_231024 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1980
131910 Homework - \'How to overcome difficult times.\' ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1876
131909 Do you want to work in a medical field someday? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1901
131908 Do you believe in lifelong learning? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1800
131907 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1
131906 The death of someone special ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1938
131905 \"Is it important to consider other people\'s opinions? Why or... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 2131
131904 is it easy to handle a dilemma? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1601
131903 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 2281
131902 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1
131901 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 2017
131900 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 0
131899 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 1801
131898 Is it the case that the more people that have cars, the better?... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 0
131897 Eating well is more important °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04