¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that students should have a ticket discount in buying concert tickets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*°æ
2023-07-06 2458

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there again, Jo! It is great to see you here on the composition page.

First of all, I can say that you have a very good background in writing. It is evident in the way you put simple and other complex sentences altogether. The suggestions I made are very simple ones to remind you of some grammar patterns. Hence, kindly read them carefully below.

Meanwhile, I agree that a student discount is unnecessary since a concert is a form of entertainment and it is not a need or primary commodity. Food, shelter, and education are out basic needs that we can get discounts from. Students then have to rely on their parents money in this regard.

Thank you for the time that you wrote and answered the homework. I really appreciate it. See you on your next answer!

-T. Donna~

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. 
>> I think there's no need for a student discount for concerts

Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
>>  Usually (something like/ having) a student discount is essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums./ Very good sentence!

Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.
>> Correct!
Or: K-pop concerts are none of these, so I don't think that student's discount for concerts is a good idea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129523 7.11.Tue Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2776
129522 Day3 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129521 7/14 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 19
129520 Homework È«*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2
129519 What do you think about eating disorders such as Anorexia and... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2264
129518 What quality do you admire most in people and which one do you... ¾È*½Ò ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2295
129517 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129516 homework 07.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1990
129515 What pet do you have at home? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3063
129514 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129513 What makes you feel happy? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129512 Where is the best place to rest in your house? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1974
129511 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1554
129510 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1901
129509 Sports ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1
129508 2023.7.13 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3589
129507 WRITING TASK: What are your ways to study more effectively? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129506 What are you really good at doing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2978
129505 How can daily life support services positively impact the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2866
129504 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1981

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04