¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that students should have a ticket discount in buying concert tickets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*°æ
2023-07-06 2459

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there again, Jo! It is great to see you here on the composition page.

First of all, I can say that you have a very good background in writing. It is evident in the way you put simple and other complex sentences altogether. The suggestions I made are very simple ones to remind you of some grammar patterns. Hence, kindly read them carefully below.

Meanwhile, I agree that a student discount is unnecessary since a concert is a form of entertainment and it is not a need or primary commodity. Food, shelter, and education are out basic needs that we can get discounts from. Students then have to rely on their parents money in this regard.

Thank you for the time that you wrote and answered the homework. I really appreciate it. See you on your next answer!

-T. Donna~

I think there's no need for student's discount for concert. 
>> I think there's no need for a student discount for concerts

Usually something having student's discount are essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums.
>>  Usually (something like/ having) a student discount is essential for living like public transportation, or educational such as museums./ Very good sentence!

Kpop concerts are none of these, so i don't think that student's discount for concert is a good idea.
>> Correct!
Or: K-pop concerts are none of these, so I don't think that student's discount for concerts is a good idea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129543 2023.7.14 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2789
129542 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1768
129541 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 3
129540 I will be poor and happy. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1765
129539 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129538 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129537 What can you say about climate change? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129536 7.14.Fri Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1985
129535 7.13.Thu Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2124
129534 7.12.Hump day Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1594
129533 What do you think of joining English camps? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129532 Physical ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129531 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1576
129530 WRITING TASK: What kind of preparation do you need for next year? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 3
129529 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1751
129528 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129527 What factors do people consider when choosing an apartment... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 4411
129526 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1
129525 Homework 7/14 JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2512
129524 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1909

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04