¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

execution

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-03-30 516

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The government should try to protect people's safety and life.

If someone seriously threat good people, the government have to punish the criminals.

If the criminals are first degree murders, they are disqualified to live together in this society.

Although the execution system is very cruel, it is sometimes necessary for the peace and safety for everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Ms. Lily!
I agree that the government imposed cruel punishment for criminals who committed heinous crimes. Personally, the firing squad is too barbaric and cruel for me, but I am into the death penalty in a peaceful and quiet way.
Talk to you later!
Aki~ ~
 

The government should try to protect people's safety and life.
>>>  CORRECT!

If someone seriously threat good people, the government have to punish the criminals.
>>>  If someone seriously threatens good people, the government has to punish the criminals.

If the criminals are first degree murders, they are disqualified to live together in this society.
>>> If the criminals are first-degree murderers, they are disqualified to live together in this society.

Although the execution system is very cruel, it is sometimes necessary for the peace and safety for everyone.
>>> Although the execution system is very cruel, it is sometimes necessary for the peace and safety of everyone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126334 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 0
126333 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126332 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 346
126331 my nomal life is make me smile À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 466
126330 3.8 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 379
126329 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 2
126328 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 5
126327 Write a story about your favorite person in the world. Answer in... ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 381
126326 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126325 3/8 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 345
126324 Self-reflection ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 474
126323 Greeting cultures which I cannot accept ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 3
126322 3/6 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 3
126321 The most valuable item ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126320 To express my feelings ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 355
126319 1. always 2. full 3. huge ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 429
126318 Do you love attending family gatherings? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126317 [Writing Exercise] Name at least three (3) things that make you... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 390
126316 3/7 homework ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 2
126315 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-07 308

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04