무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Are you impressed by the current advancements in the medical field? Or do you think they could do be

작성자: 이*아
2023-03-20 387

회원님의 영작문

I was impressed with cancer treatment's current advancements in the medical field. In fact, billions of people have suffered cancer in recent years. Even though there are a lot of people who have a hard time because of cancer, we could see that patients are decreasing compared to the last few years. Here is the evidence. According to the Cancer Center, "more than 80% of people diagnosed with cancer types which are easier to diagnose and/or treat survive"(Cancer Center, 2022). People are usually afraid to get cancer because they believe cancer is the cruelest and most fatal disease in the world. But that rate makes people feel much more comfortable with cancer, in addition, it shows cancer treatment has developed a lot. But whether cancer treatment develops, it should be developed more than now. Because there is still some cancer that is hard to fully recover from. Especially, only 12.8% of people can recover from brain cancer. Better quality of medical treatment can make better society

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great choice of topic, Su A!  I also wanted to hear from you about cancer since it is quite controversial. Some people have even theorized that perhaps the medical field is purposefully hiding treatments for cancer to prevent hospitals from losing profit.  I haven't heard about the report from Cancer Center, so it was a nice piece of information to add there. Your readers would have gained new knowledge from reading your essay.  You also ended it on a realistic note, that while cancer has taken a lot of steps forward for the better, it doesn't promise us complete recovery just yet. Thank you! 
~T.Harmony <3

I was impressed with cancer treatment's current advancements in the medical field.
>> CORRECT!
In fact, billions of people have suffered cancer in recent years. 
>> ...billions of people have suffered from cancer...
Even though there are a lot of people who have a hard time because of cancer, we could see that patients are decreasing compared to the last few years. 
>> CORRECT!
Here is the evidence. 
>> CORRECT!
According to the Cancer Center, "more than 80% of people diagnosed with cancer types which are easier to diagnose and/or treat survive"(Cancer Center, 2022). 
>> CORRECT!
People are usually afraid to get cancer because they believe cancer is the cruelest and most fatal disease in the world. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> People often fear being diagnosed of cancer because they think of it as incurable and highly fatal.
But that rate makes people feel much more comfortable with cancer, in addition, it shows cancer treatment has developed a lot. 
>> However, the percentage reported by Cancer Center in 2022 makes people feel much more at ease with cancer. In addition, it shows cancer treatment has developed a lot. 
But whether cancer treatment develops, it should be developed more than now. 
>> CORRECT!
Because there is still some cancer that is hard to fully recover from. 
>> ...still some types of cancer...
Especially, only 12.8% of people can recover from brain cancer. 
>> In particular, ...
Better quality of medical treatment can make better society
>> ...can make a better society.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
127552 How was the commute? 조*민 완료 2023-04-17 1
127551 Homework 하*림 완료 2023-04-17 0
127550 homework 박*경 완료 2023-04-17 822
127549 Homework 박*민 완료 2023-04-17 2
127548 favorite day 박*람 완료 2023-04-17 686
127547 If parensts set a proper guideline, children who are elemantary... 이*웅 완료 2023-04-17 3
127546 What is your favorite color and why? 박*현 완료 2023-04-17 730
127545 Do you like seafood? 김*지 완료 2023-04-17 0
127544 What are the things that you can\'t share? 김*지 완료 2023-04-17 0
127543 Define a superhero. 김*지 완료 2023-04-17 0
127542 My weekend 최*윤 완료 2023-04-17 512
127541 homework 정*호 완료 2023-04-17 0
127540 homework 04.17 최*� 완료 2023-04-17 729
127539 What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘socialism’? 김*민 완료 2023-04-17 4
127538 homework 정*호 완료 2023-04-17 0
127537 What talent do you wish you’d have? 김*인 완료 2023-04-17 1
127536 Homework 박*은 완료 2023-04-17 0
127535 If you were a billionaire what will you do with your money? 앨* 완료 2023-04-17 0
127534 Would you prefer to live in a really old historical city, or a... 김*름 완료 2023-04-17 620
127533 Monday Homework 류*우 완료 2023-04-17 724

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]