¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-16 593

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
Megan is watching to me, though.
After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Kids are full of energy!Physiologically, they get more oxygen, so they have more energy. Because they breathe more easily, they also release the stress and tension that they need to (toxins and stress are released through the breath). With less stress in their system, they have more energy.The energy we rely on every day comes from one of these sources, and while some may be better than others, it is always best to avoid unnecessary use by getting mad easily or doing bad habits. 

Mistakes at work happen all the time. No matter how experienced you may be, it is inevitable that a mistake or two will crop up at some point in your career. Some of these work mistakes can be much more severe than others, but they all reflect on you, your professionalism, and your performance as a boss. Work smarter, not harder. It¡¯s something that¡¯s very often repeated and is absolutely true within the workplace. Dr. MJ knows this a much as you do.

So, thank you for your valuable time and effort in writing this composition. I always notice how you use new expressions to level up your writing and vocabulary skills. Please read my suggestions intently.

Best of luck and cheers to a busy and a happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
>> Correct!

As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
>> As you know it, she is a little girl and so cute.

Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
>> Correct!

Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
>> Correct!

Megan is watching to me, though.
>> Megan is watching me though.

After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
>> Correct!

Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
>> Correct!

Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
>> Of course, there was a moment that got me stressed, but it was just a short time.

As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
>> Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got the hang of my work somewhat./ Very good sentence!

Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
>> Lately, with laser, I removed hairs of another site which the client didn't want to.

It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
>> Correct!

I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
>> Correct!
Or: I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I should always be careful.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125705 Would you like to change your daily routine? Why or why not? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 320
125704 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 3
125703 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 590
125702 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 2
125701 Why do people your age go to the coffee shop? Share your answer... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 3
125700 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 225
125699 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 191
125698 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125697 Busiest day ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 248
125696 The importance of greetings ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125695 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 337
125694 Homework from the Feedback (13) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 238
125693 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 219
125692 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125691 When I am alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 422
125690 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 251
125689 2023-2/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1802
125688 What do you do when you have trouble sleeping? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 308
125687 We have to practice how to read efficiently ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 0
125686 homework 02.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 180

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04