¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-16 590

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
Megan is watching to me, though.
After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Kids are full of energy!Physiologically, they get more oxygen, so they have more energy. Because they breathe more easily, they also release the stress and tension that they need to (toxins and stress are released through the breath). With less stress in their system, they have more energy.The energy we rely on every day comes from one of these sources, and while some may be better than others, it is always best to avoid unnecessary use by getting mad easily or doing bad habits. 

Mistakes at work happen all the time. No matter how experienced you may be, it is inevitable that a mistake or two will crop up at some point in your career. Some of these work mistakes can be much more severe than others, but they all reflect on you, your professionalism, and your performance as a boss. Work smarter, not harder. It¡¯s something that¡¯s very often repeated and is absolutely true within the workplace. Dr. MJ knows this a much as you do.

So, thank you for your valuable time and effort in writing this composition. I always notice how you use new expressions to level up your writing and vocabulary skills. Please read my suggestions intently.

Best of luck and cheers to a busy and a happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
>> Correct!

As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
>> As you know it, she is a little girl and so cute.

Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
>> Correct!

Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
>> Correct!

Megan is watching to me, though.
>> Megan is watching me though.

After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
>> Correct!

Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
>> Correct!

Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
>> Of course, there was a moment that got me stressed, but it was just a short time.

As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
>> Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got the hang of my work somewhat./ Very good sentence!

Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
>> Lately, with laser, I removed hairs of another site which the client didn't want to.

It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
>> Correct!

I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
>> Correct!
Or: I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I should always be careful.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125745 What does the word \'hero\' mean to you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 273
125744 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 227
125743 wish ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 286
125742 The way to go to relaxing trip ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 0
125741 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 3
125740 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1
125739 Do you think people focus too much on appearing to be successful? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 347
125738 2/17 Homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 267
125737 meeting ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 2
125736 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 0
125735 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1
125734 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 0
125733 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 2
125732 Compare Seoul and Busan in terms of attractions. Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 461
125731 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 2
125730 What would life be like without weekends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 482
125729 Improving my English skills ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 5
125728 15.Feb.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1
125727 What do you want to eat this weekend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 0
125726 One of my bucket lists ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 337

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04