¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿ì
2023-01-17 736

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan. Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seon U!
Thank you for always doing your homework! I completely agree with you; our eating habits have an impact on our lives. There's a saying: 'We are what we eat'.  What we eat reveals how we care for ourselves.
Anyway, you did an amazing job today. See you tomorrow~  
-T.Jhozel ^^

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan.
>> Correct!
>> OR: 
I believe that a person's diet has an impact on their lifespan.
Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. 
>> Some people consume unhealthy foods, such as marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks.
Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. 
>> These foods make us unhealthy. If we consume those foods, we may develop diseases such as diabetes.
So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible 
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125721 Why are people so scared of death? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 584
125720 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125719 Which one do you think is better, being rich or being beautiful?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 560
125718 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 569
125717 Is there anything that annoys you about living in your country? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125716 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 824
125715 What are the pros and cons of being a celebrity? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125714 How important are first impressions to you? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125713 What kind of person do you think is the Yale professor who... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 2
125712 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 478
125711 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 728
125710 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125709 Drinking became culture ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125708 How to study English ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 757
125707 The fortune telling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125706 Do you ask for other people\'s help? If yes, when? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 631
125705 Would you like to change your daily routine? Why or why not? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 649
125704 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 3
125703 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 739
125702 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04