¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My city is small but it\'s nice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*Çõ
2022-12-20 1213

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My city is not capital city
But it's nice
My home town is not noise traffic My cousin city is big and noise.
My city is not huge not noise
MY city have too many cars.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Lucas!

Thanks for sending your composition. I appreciate it.  Please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 
See you on Thursday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~

My city is not capital city
>> My city is not the capital city. 
>> or: I don't live in the capital city. 

But it's nice.
>> OR: I still like it though. 

My home town is not noise traffic My cousin city is big and noise.
>> My hometown is not noisy because there's no traffic but my cousin's city is big and noisy. 

My city is not huge not noise
>> My city is not huge so it's not noisy. 
>> NOTE: "Noise" can be a noun or a verb but "noisy" is an adjective. They are two different words. 

MY city have too many cars.
>> However, there are too many cars in my city. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121384 Is it better to stay at home on holiday or go somewhere? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 662
121383 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1716
121382 8/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 925
121381 Who is the best author for you? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 615
121380 my favorite movie line Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 786
121379 I hate summer ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 448
121378 If you had to leave your home quickly because of danger, what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 523
121377 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 598
121376 If you will build a simple cafe in your area, what will you do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1210
121375 How technology has changed in my life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 691
121374 What kinds of things do you complain about? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 658
121373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1
121372 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 4
121371 Do you like shopping? What do you shop for and who do you shop... ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 465
121370 What are the advantages and disadvantages of staying at a B&B, a... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 602
121369 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 0
121368 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 763
121367 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1168
121366 Have you ever written a poem or a story? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 511
121365 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04