¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why stalking and dating violence have steadily increased

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-10 1409

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea is very conservative society. The conservative mood is because of the Confucianism flourished in Chosun dynasty. So, the idea that the men are over than woman is still remaining. And the old are still reluctant to refer sexual things considering it is impure. At result, it is hard to get precision education especially about sexual things. School education is also formal. When I was young, homeroom teachers did sexual education and the content was comprehensive. Rather, young people get inaccurate information from online. It is easy to be exposed from sensational things increasing the use of the social media. And then, it relates to wrong sexual perception to the young. Lots of people don't know love is based on not ownership but respect and consideration. Furthermore, the lenient punishment is another reason of increasing stalking and dating violence. Accurate education about love and sexual things and strict punishment is the solution of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Very well said Mary. Thanks for this.

Korea is very conservative society. 
>>>  correct 
The conservative mood is because of the Confucianism flourished in Chosun dynasty. 
>>The conservative mood is because of the Confucianism that flourished in Chosun dynasty.   
So, the idea that the men are over than woman is still remaining. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: So, the idea that the men are above than woman still exists.   
And the old are still reluctant to refer sexual things considering it is impure. 
>>>  OR: In addition, the old are still reluctant to address sexual things considering it as immoral. 
At result, it is hard to get precision education especially about sexual things. 
>>>  OR: As a result, it is hard to get precise education especially about sexual things.   
School education is also formal. 
>>>  correct 
When I was young, homeroom teachers did sexual education and the content was comprehensive. 
>>>  correct 
Rather, young people get inaccurate information from online. 
>>>  correct 
It is easy to be exposed from sensational things increasing the use of the social media.   
>>> It is easy to be exposed to sensational things increasing through the use of social media. 
And then, it relates to wrong sexual perception to the young. 
>>> correct  
Lots of people don't know love is based on not ownership but respect and consideration. 
>>> correct     
Furthermore, the lenient punishment is another reason of increasing stalking and dating violence. 
>>>  correct    
Accurate education about love and sexual things and strict punishment is the solution of these crimes.
>>>  correct    
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123346 In 5 sentences, please write your expectations from the class... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1311
123345 Describe a person who contributes to the society. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1
123344 What\'s your favorite toy? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1
123343 11.01.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 2
123342 Would you rather be smart or beautiful / handsome? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 882
123341 Money ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1302
123340 What were the causal factors of the accident? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 983
123339 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1333
123338 How do you feel when you take food supplements? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1291
123337 Do rich people have the responsibility to help the poor? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1
123336 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1642
123335 How much free time do you usually have? What do you like to do... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1565
123334 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 968
123333 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1101
123332 Decision ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2
123331 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2
123330 What hobbies are popular with children, but not with adults? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1601
123329 The things that young can learn by voting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123328 The story that bites the tail and bite tail ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123327 The popular game ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04