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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-10-17 1862

회원님의 영작문

Good evening, T. Donna.
It was not too busy in my clinic today.
Today, we have three new members, but one of them resigned a few hours later.
Because we have enough numbers of staff, it's not a serious problem, I think.
Last weekend, I did nothing to special and just took a rest in most of the time.
Thus, I thought I would be recharged, but I don't have energy all day.
Maybe I am sick of all my work these days.
However, It will be alright.
That's because I can open the roof of my car tonight.
I am looking forward to that moment.
About taking a risk, as we grow older, most of us would like to be stable.
When we were young, we don't have many things to concern.
We still had another chance, and unless we would be succeeded, we could find other things.
That's because we were not responsible for my family, and there was nothing to lose.
However, as you know, Dr. MJ and I decided to take a big risk to move our clinic.
It's a wonderful challenge.
Now I should get going.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello! Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

How's your clinic today? I hope that everything works according to your expectations. You have to pray at the start of the day to achieve your daily goals towards your new clinic. Anyway, I hope that you are fully charged to face all the adversities and challenges of Tuesday.

As we grow older, we want to avoid taking risks becuase we have the knack to foresee results in the future. However, this limits our growth and hampers our skills from growing. Hence, as e grow older, for me, it's better to be bolder than ever to get what we want in life.

Time is the most crcial thing as we age. So if we never risked it, we can never be full happy in this life time.

Your compositon has your own style and pattern I am excited to read always. Then, go over my grammar suggestions religiously.

Have a great lunch and stay focused for the rest of the afternoon.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It was not too busy in my clinic today.
>> Correct!

Today, we have three new members, but one of them resigned a few hours later.
>> Corerct!

Because we have enough numbers of staff, it's not a serious problem, I think.
>> Correct!

Last weekend, I did nothing to special and just took a rest in most of the time.
>> Last weekend, I did nothing too special and just took a rest most of the time.

Thus, I thought I would be recharged, but I don't have energy all day.
>> Correct!

Maybe I am sick of all my work these days.
>> Correct!

However, It will be alright.
>> Correct!
Or: However, it will be alright.

That's because I can open the roof of my car tonight.
>> Correct!

I am looking forward to that moment.
>> Correct!

About taking a risk, as we grow older, most of us would like to be stable.
>> Correct!

When we were young, we don't have many things to concern.
>> When we were young, we don't have many things to concern ourselves with.

We still had another chance, and unless we would be succeeded, we could find other things.
>> We still had another chance, and unless we would succeed, we could find other things.

That's because we were not responsible for my family, and there was nothing to lose.
>> That's because we were not responsible for our  family, and there was nothing to lose.

However, as you know, Dr. MJ and I decided to take a big risk to move our clinic.
>> Correct!

It's a wonderful challenge.
>> Correct!

Now I should get going.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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