¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-17 1861

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening, T. Donna.
It was not too busy in my clinic today.
Today, we have three new members, but one of them resigned a few hours later.
Because we have enough numbers of staff, it's not a serious problem, I think.
Last weekend, I did nothing to special and just took a rest in most of the time.
Thus, I thought I would be recharged, but I don't have energy all day.
Maybe I am sick of all my work these days.
However, It will be alright.
That's because I can open the roof of my car tonight.
I am looking forward to that moment.
About taking a risk, as we grow older, most of us would like to be stable.
When we were young, we don't have many things to concern.
We still had another chance, and unless we would be succeeded, we could find other things.
That's because we were not responsible for my family, and there was nothing to lose.
However, as you know, Dr. MJ and I decided to take a big risk to move our clinic.
It's a wonderful challenge.
Now I should get going.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello! Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

How's your clinic today? I hope that everything works according to your expectations. You have to pray at the start of the day to achieve your daily goals towards your new clinic. Anyway, I hope that you are fully charged to face all the adversities and challenges of Tuesday.

As we grow older, we want to avoid taking risks becuase we have the knack to foresee results in the future. However, this limits our growth and hampers our skills from growing. Hence, as e grow older, for me, it's better to be bolder than ever to get what we want in life.

Time is the most crcial thing as we age. So if we never risked it, we can never be full happy in this life time.

Your compositon has your own style and pattern I am excited to read always. Then, go over my grammar suggestions religiously.

Have a great lunch and stay focused for the rest of the afternoon.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It was not too busy in my clinic today.
>> Correct!

Today, we have three new members, but one of them resigned a few hours later.
>> Corerct!

Because we have enough numbers of staff, it's not a serious problem, I think.
>> Correct!

Last weekend, I did nothing to special and just took a rest in most of the time.
>> Last weekend, I did nothing too special and just took a rest most of the time.

Thus, I thought I would be recharged, but I don't have energy all day.
>> Correct!

Maybe I am sick of all my work these days.
>> Correct!

However, It will be alright.
>> Correct!
Or: However, it will be alright.

That's because I can open the roof of my car tonight.
>> Correct!

I am looking forward to that moment.
>> Correct!

About taking a risk, as we grow older, most of us would like to be stable.
>> Correct!

When we were young, we don't have many things to concern.
>> When we were young, we don't have many things to concern ourselves with.

We still had another chance, and unless we would be succeeded, we could find other things.
>> We still had another chance, and unless we would succeed, we could find other things.

That's because we were not responsible for my family, and there was nothing to lose.
>> That's because we were not responsible for our  family, and there was nothing to lose.

However, as you know, Dr. MJ and I decided to take a big risk to move our clinic.
>> Correct!

It's a wonderful challenge.
>> Correct!

Now I should get going.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121514 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 879
121513 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 581
121512 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121511 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121510 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121509 life expectancy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 292
121508 Should parents help their children set goals? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121507 It seeme like a family birthday party. ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 662
121506 Describe a natural disaster that you have experienced in your... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121505 How is elementary education system in America different with... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121504 What do you love doing with your relatives? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 837
121503 Make decision Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121502 8/10 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 468
121501 Why is helping others important? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 446
121500 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones? /... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 937
121499 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 548
121498 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 475
121497 When I wished the rain would stop Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 750
121496 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 513
121495 What is the best way to enjoy Chuseok without spending too much? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 550

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04