¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some good points of social media?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Èñ
2022-08-31 1529

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.
But in spite of that, It has many good points. First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. Second, you can use it as a job. If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

-Christina teacher It was really nice to meet you! and about my job, I don't know that word. maybe it's a purchase for customer as a proxy ?(only on online). Anyway have a nice rest of your day :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Erin!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. 

>> Actually, I didn't like social media much before because it bothers me a lot who pressed like or who read my posts, or sometimes it creates misunderstandings. 

For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.

>> For example, if someone is using Instagram and doesn't reply to my message, it could become a misunderstanding.


So I used to not use them for a while.

>>CORRECT!

But in spite of that, It has many good points. 

>> But in spite of that, it has many good points. 

First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. 

>> First, you can connect with so many people because you can add so many friends and see news about them, and it's also easy to text them. 

Second, you can use it as a job. 

>> Second, you can use for your job. 

If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. 

>> If you post something constantly about your job, it could be helpful in notifying you about your things. 

Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. 

>> Third, there are so many entertaining things like short clips or videos. 

Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

>> Lastly, you can follow celebrities like an actor or an actress, or a singer.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127464 What kind of music do you like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127463 It¡¯s secret! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 805
127462 What are the characteristics you look for in a friend? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 4
127461 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1920
127460 ❤️❤️ ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 891
127459 Essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1106
127458 International Marriage ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 963
127457 What was the best thing about your childhood? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1107
127456 Knowing latest news is important for me. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127455 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127454 I don\'t do social media. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1072
127453 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1067
127452 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 5
127451 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127450 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127449 Homework for 04/13 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127448 Please write something about the question below: 1. What do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127447 Hw ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127446 What is your favorite fruit? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1711
127445 What\'s your thought on people who spend a lot of money on... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04