¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some good points of social media?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Èñ
2022-08-31 1532

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.
But in spite of that, It has many good points. First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. Second, you can use it as a job. If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

-Christina teacher It was really nice to meet you! and about my job, I don't know that word. maybe it's a purchase for customer as a proxy ?(only on online). Anyway have a nice rest of your day :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Erin!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. 

>> Actually, I didn't like social media much before because it bothers me a lot who pressed like or who read my posts, or sometimes it creates misunderstandings. 

For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.

>> For example, if someone is using Instagram and doesn't reply to my message, it could become a misunderstanding.


So I used to not use them for a while.

>>CORRECT!

But in spite of that, It has many good points. 

>> But in spite of that, it has many good points. 

First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. 

>> First, you can connect with so many people because you can add so many friends and see news about them, and it's also easy to text them. 

Second, you can use it as a job. 

>> Second, you can use for your job. 

If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. 

>> If you post something constantly about your job, it could be helpful in notifying you about your things. 

Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. 

>> Third, there are so many entertaining things like short clips or videos. 

Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

>> Lastly, you can follow celebrities like an actor or an actress, or a singer.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127484 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127483 homework 04.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1065
127482 What was the best thing about your childhood? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1304
127481 How many seasons are there in your country? Which is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127480 What\'s your thought on socialism? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 4
127479 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 7
127478 Can social media be educational? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 3
127477 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 869
127476 Do you believe in fortune tellers?/What other superstitions are... ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127475 4.14 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1497
127474 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 867
127473 today\'s homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1131
127472 My favorite restaurant near my place ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1160
127471 today ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1038
127470 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1127
127469 How can you improve your focus when studying and learning... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127468 4.13 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2046
127467 6.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127466 10.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 3
127465 Talking ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04