¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-07-14 1009

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are the advantages of eating fast food?
A:One of the advantages of eating fast food is I can feel better.
Many people says that fast foods are not that good at health but eating them sometimes are not that bad.
And most of fast foods are delicious so I can feel better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


One of the advantages of eating fast food is I can feel better.

>> One of the advantages of eating fast food is that I can feel better.
Many people says that fast foods are not that good at health but eating them sometimes are not that bad.

>> Many people say that fast foods are not that good for the health, but eating them sometimes are not that bad.
And most of fast foods are delicious so I can feel better.

>> Most fast foods are delicious so I can feel better when I eat them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118279 Are fat people lazy? Tell me your thought. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 1
118278 homework ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 12
118277 Somking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 1
118276 Work ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 16
118275 Leave ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 12
118274 N ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 19
118273 What stressful situation did you have in your new company? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-17 4
118272 Writing Task(Apr 13th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-16 111
118271 What do you think of people who complain a lot? ½Å*¼· ÁøÇàÁß 2022-04-15 163
118270 Is setting a deadline important? why do you say so? ½Å*¼· ÁøÇàÁß 2022-04-15 130
118269 I don\\\'t want to be in a rush. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-15 259
118268 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-04-15 1
118267 According to the article, with the opening of the Seoul Arena,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-15 148
118266 What is the best memory you have of your family doing something... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-15 124
118265 4/14 HOMEWORK ( •̀ ¥ø •́ )y ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 122
118264 What I should do every day but don¡¯t. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 146
118263 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 2
118262 What is the best thing about your birthplace? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 111
118261 What is your greatest childhood memory? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 119
118260 What is something you should do every day but don\'t? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 104

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04