¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are video games good for relieving stress?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-01 759

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

From my perspective, playing video games have disadvantages more than advantages however, the effect driven by playing video games can not be ignored. Those who like to play video games can relieve stress. In my younger brother's case, he tends to release his stress by playing video games with his friends. It is for sure that video games help relieve stress.

On the other hand, we should notice that this help is limited to people who enjoy playing video games. Even those who love playing video games can be also harmed by video games because of addiction problems etc.

In conclusion, playing video games can release one¡¯s stress. However, it is a little bit difficult to conclude that playing video games are helpful to all people. Even for gamers, video games do not always give them pros.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday Helena!
I agree with your opinion on this matter, It really depends on how people receive the concept of video games. It can be beneficial to some, but can also cause disturbance to others.
T.Caitlyn
From my perspective, playing video games have disadvantages more than advantages however, the effect driven by playing video games can not be ignored.
 >>From my perspective, playing video games have more disadvantages than advantages however, the effect driven by playing video games can not be ignored.
Those who like to play video games can relieve stress. 
>> CORRECT
In my younger brother's case, he tends to release his stress by playing video games with his friends. 
>> CORRECT
It is for sure that video games help relieve stress.
>> >> CORRECT
On the other hand, we should notice that this help is limited to people who enjoy playing video games. 
>> On the other hand, we should notice that this effect is only limited to people who enjoy playing video games. 
Even those who love playing video games can be also harmed by video games because of addiction problems etc.
>> CORRECT
In conclusion, playing video games can release one¡¯s stress. 
>> CORRECT
However, it is a little bit difficult to conclude that playing video games are helpful to all people. 
>> CORRECT
Even for gamers, video games do not always give them pros.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124553 12/30 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 878
124552 1/2 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 5
124551 What is an editorial page? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1073
124550 30.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1
124549 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1024
124548 Are you confident about how you look like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 2
124547 some questions. ¾È*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 1085
124546 Do you agree that smoking in public places should be banned? Why... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 937
124545 Why do people get tattoos? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 933
124544 Do you think that your life is easier/harder than your parents? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 4
124543 Did you believe in Santa Claus when you were child? How about... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 2
124542 Can you tell me about something you regret? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 3
124541 The plan ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 1
124540 New year¡¯s resolution ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 0
124539 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 828
124538 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 1663
124537 teacher ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 1
124536 Can you talk about one thing that scares you? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 4
124535 Planning a get-together ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 850
124534 In my culture, ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 864

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04