¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are video games good for relieving stress?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-01 762

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

From my perspective, playing video games have disadvantages more than advantages however, the effect driven by playing video games can not be ignored. Those who like to play video games can relieve stress. In my younger brother's case, he tends to release his stress by playing video games with his friends. It is for sure that video games help relieve stress.

On the other hand, we should notice that this help is limited to people who enjoy playing video games. Even those who love playing video games can be also harmed by video games because of addiction problems etc.

In conclusion, playing video games can release one¡¯s stress. However, it is a little bit difficult to conclude that playing video games are helpful to all people. Even for gamers, video games do not always give them pros.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday Helena!
I agree with your opinion on this matter, It really depends on how people receive the concept of video games. It can be beneficial to some, but can also cause disturbance to others.
T.Caitlyn
From my perspective, playing video games have disadvantages more than advantages however, the effect driven by playing video games can not be ignored.
 >>From my perspective, playing video games have more disadvantages than advantages however, the effect driven by playing video games can not be ignored.
Those who like to play video games can relieve stress. 
>> CORRECT
In my younger brother's case, he tends to release his stress by playing video games with his friends. 
>> CORRECT
It is for sure that video games help relieve stress.
>> >> CORRECT
On the other hand, we should notice that this help is limited to people who enjoy playing video games. 
>> On the other hand, we should notice that this effect is only limited to people who enjoy playing video games. 
Even those who love playing video games can be also harmed by video games because of addiction problems etc.
>> CORRECT
In conclusion, playing video games can release one¡¯s stress. 
>> CORRECT
However, it is a little bit difficult to conclude that playing video games are helpful to all people. 
>> CORRECT
Even for gamers, video games do not always give them pros.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124626 Writing Exercise: Government investment in the arts, such as... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 2
124625 Best talk ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124624 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 0
124623 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 0
124622 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 880
124621 Day off ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 3
124620 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124619 1/4 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 0
124618 What¡¯s new with you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 861
124617 right ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 867
124616 Why do you think kids nowadays like playing online games? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124615 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124614 Bird Beak! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 903
124613 3.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 2
124612 What do you like best about staying at home? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1291
124611 Which school subject do you like the most? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 895
124610 What¡¯s new with you? ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 645
124609 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 2
124608 about COVID-19 ÃÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1011
124607 If you could buy only one of these two things, would you choose... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1014

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04