¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.14 Writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-14 181

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your favorite place in your city and why?

In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving near where I live now. A big pond around which I can take a walk and a huge theme park are among those. The former is what my wife likes to go and the latter is the place my daughter loves to go. Actually, we have the annual memberships for the park.

And we go to the East Sea thesedays since my daugher loves to play with the sand on the beach. The beach sand is really soft, compared to the on on the land

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung!  

Wow, you live in the wonderful place. There is a lot of access to beautiful cites. I'm happy for you! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving near where I live now. 
>> In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving, near where I live now. 
A big pondaround which I can take a walk and a huge theme park are among those. 
>> There is a big pond here where I can talk walks. There's also a huge theme park here. 

The former is what my wife likes to go and the latter is the place my daughter loves to go. 
>> The "Former" is the place where my wife likes to go to and the "Latter" is my daughter's favorite. 

Actually, we have the annual memberships for the park.
>> Actually, we have an annual memberships for the park.

And we go to the East Sea thesedays since my daugher loves to play with the sand on the beach. 
>> We usually go to the East Sea these days since my daughter loves to play with the sand on the beach. 

The beach sand is really soft, compared to the on on the land
>> The beach sand is really soft, compared to the ones on the land. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119400 What do you think is the most challenging part about raising a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 162
119399 Do you believe that Artificial Intelligence will change the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 103
119398 Training ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119397 Notification ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119396 Healthy life! À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 140
119395 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119394 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119393 Hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119392 Safe ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119391 Drama ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 3
119390 What activity do you like best when you are with your book club... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 194
119389 What do you think is the importance of having personal space and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 92
119388 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 80
119387 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 88
119386 5.27 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 117
119385 Living below the poverty line. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-28 132
119384 Writing Task(May 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 44
119383 5/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 72
119382 Writing Task(May 25th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 124
119381 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04