¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.14 Writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-14 178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your favorite place in your city and why?

In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving near where I live now. A big pond around which I can take a walk and a huge theme park are among those. The former is what my wife likes to go and the latter is the place my daughter loves to go. Actually, we have the annual memberships for the park.

And we go to the East Sea thesedays since my daugher loves to play with the sand on the beach. The beach sand is really soft, compared to the on on the land

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung!  

Wow, you live in the wonderful place. There is a lot of access to beautiful cites. I'm happy for you! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving near where I live now. 
>> In my city, there are a few places within ten minutes distance by driving, near where I live now. 
A big pondaround which I can take a walk and a huge theme park are among those. 
>> There is a big pond here where I can talk walks. There's also a huge theme park here. 

The former is what my wife likes to go and the latter is the place my daughter loves to go. 
>> The "Former" is the place where my wife likes to go to and the "Latter" is my daughter's favorite. 

Actually, we have the annual memberships for the park.
>> Actually, we have an annual memberships for the park.

And we go to the East Sea thesedays since my daugher loves to play with the sand on the beach. 
>> We usually go to the East Sea these days since my daughter loves to play with the sand on the beach. 

The beach sand is really soft, compared to the on on the land
>> The beach sand is really soft, compared to the ones on the land. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119440 about buying things ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119439 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 4
119438 Do you think everyone should have a holiday from school or work... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 123
119437 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 224
119436 How much time ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 3
119435 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119434 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119433 What is the meaning of \"give and take\"? what does this mean to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 201
119432 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 594
119431 What festivals or celebrations does your country have during the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119430 What are the pros and cons of eating out? ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 148
119429 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119428 How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119427 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 190
119426 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 127
119425 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 208
119424 Do you like shopping for clothes? / How often do you buy clothes? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119423 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 144
119422 Low Breath Rate ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 94
119421 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04