¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Third homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-15 654

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best way to find a job.

First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.

And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts have a good influence.
People like positive people and prefer sincere people.

Finally, you have to express yourself.
You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.

This effort will help you find a job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great Tuesday to you, Hazel! ^^
I agree with your thoughts and ideas. 
Your sentences are correct and I just provided some alternatives. ^^
See you in class!

- T. Rina


1. First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
>> CORRECT!

2. The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
>> CORRECT!
OR: The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether he or she gets hired or not. 

3. You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.
>> You have to develop and study your abilities to improve yourself.

4. And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
>> CORRECT!

5. Positive thoughts have a good influence.
>> CORRECT!

6. People like positive people and prefer sincere people.
>> CORRECT!
OR: A lot of people prefer optimistic and sincere individuals.

7. Finally, you have to express yourself.
>> CORRECT!

8. You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
>> CORRECT!

9. It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.
>> CORRECT!

10. This effort will help you find a job.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117899 Are social networking sites changing our daily behavior? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 657
117898 How often do you eat junk food? What is it about junk food that... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 266
117897 What is the best restaurant in your town and what do they serve... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1
117896 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 347
117895 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 2
117894 Why job seekers change to choose public companies into private... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1
117893 Homework ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1
117892 home work ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 329
117891 How would you describe your personality? Are you happy with your... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 204
117890 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 435
117889 What is the best gift you have ever received and why is it so... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 549
117888 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 402
117887 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 641
117886 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 376
117885 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 2
117884 Why is it that some people act differently in front of others? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 570
117883 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 256
117882 civet coffee ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 236
117881 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival?... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 2
117880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04