¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Third homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-15 655

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best way to find a job.

First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.

And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts have a good influence.
People like positive people and prefer sincere people.

Finally, you have to express yourself.
You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.

This effort will help you find a job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great Tuesday to you, Hazel! ^^
I agree with your thoughts and ideas. 
Your sentences are correct and I just provided some alternatives. ^^
See you in class!

- T. Rina


1. First, individual efforts are needed to find a job.
>> CORRECT!

2. The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether to work together or not.
>> CORRECT!
OR: The company checks the individual's abilities and decides whether he or she gets hired or not. 

3. You have to develop and study your abilities to develop yourself.
>> You have to develop and study your abilities to improve yourself.

4. And, you have to show your consistency with positive thoughts.
>> CORRECT!

5. Positive thoughts have a good influence.
>> CORRECT!

6. People like positive people and prefer sincere people.
>> CORRECT!
OR: A lot of people prefer optimistic and sincere individuals.

7. Finally, you have to express yourself.
>> CORRECT!

8. You have to express your thoughts with confidence.
>> CORRECT!

9. It is a necessary part to talk to other colleagues, solve problems, and have good relationships.
>> CORRECT!

10. This effort will help you find a job.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117919 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 469
117918 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 1
117917 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 5
117916 unbelievable ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 397
117915 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 1
117914 Can men be feminists. In what instances ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 4
117913 Is going to a private institution necessary to excel in classes?... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 2
117912 Do you think there is still inequality between men and women... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 617
117911 Is traditional equivalent to conservative? Why or why not? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 4
117910 Homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 2
117909 2022.3.31 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 509
117908 Do you think there is still inequality between men and women... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 210
117907 What are some problems you encounter on holidays? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-01 1
117906 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 0
117905 3/31 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 229
117904 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1
117903 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1
117902 homewo ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 605
117901 Make sentence ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 455
117900 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-31 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04