¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you give money to homeless people? Do you think people should give money to homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-11 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't give money to homeless people. It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. We should make a plan for homeless people. If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! 
Your essay today is impressive. You've created a lot of good sentences and I'm really happy about it. 
Keep it up!
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I don't give money to homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. 
>> CORRECT!
If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. 
>> If they need a temporary shelter, they can go to those places. 
Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. 
>> CORRECT!
In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. 
>> In my opinion, starting a fund raising program is better than giving money. 
After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. 
>> After establishing a fund raising program, people can donate in it. 
We should make a plan for homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115300 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 271
115299 Homework Jan.6th. 2022. ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 118
115298 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 519
115297 What is your long term goal? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115296 criteria to recruiting nurses ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 373
115295 What would you do if most of your friends couldn¡¯t make it to... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 320
115294 Music can make people to one ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 257
115293 What is your favorite Korean traditional game? Explain how this... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1768
115292 What new thing would you like to try this years? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 685
115291 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 155
115290 How do you value friendship? Explain your answer in as much... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 220
115289 writing3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 952
115288 writing2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 321
115287 Wring1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 193
115286 What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 569
115285 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 338
115284 Would you rather live alone or with other people? Why? º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 999
115283 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 454
115282 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1
115281 Nosy and Concerned ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04