¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you give money to homeless people? Do you think people should give money to homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-11 377

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't give money to homeless people. It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. We should make a plan for homeless people. If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! 
Your essay today is impressive. You've created a lot of good sentences and I'm really happy about it. 
Keep it up!
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I don't give money to homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. 
>> CORRECT!
If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. 
>> If they need a temporary shelter, they can go to those places. 
Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. 
>> CORRECT!
In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. 
>> In my opinion, starting a fund raising program is better than giving money. 
After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. 
>> After establishing a fund raising program, people can donate in it. 
We should make a plan for homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115315 ESSAY: Some people think products should be designed to last for... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 377
115314 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 118
115313 The value of friendship Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 342
115312 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115311 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 274
115310 Homework (1/5) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115309 Where do you want to visit this year? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115308 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 452
115307 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 489
115306 Greetings can be expressed verbally and physically. How can... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 4
115305 What\'s new with you since you moved to Canada? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 330
115304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115303 law ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 333
115302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 930
115301 fairy tale I know. ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 194
115300 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 271
115299 Homework Jan.6th. 2022. ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 116
115298 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 516
115297 What is your long term goal? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115296 criteria to recruiting nurses ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 372

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04