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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 11042021

작성자: 조*비
2021-11-04 172

회원님의 영작문



Nov 04 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual. Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around. It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others. Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted. For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves. While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thanks for doing your homework. However, please be careful with word usage. 

- Debbie

Nov. 04, 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.
>> When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that having no friends means no happiness because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.

Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
>> This is a good sentence.

However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around.
>> However, I do not think a person can be well-adjusted without any friends around.

 It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others.
>> It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustments and adaptations, and especially when they communicate with others.

Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted.
>> This is a good sentence.

For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
>> For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe others' reactions during interactions.

As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves.
>> As children, we were taught to put ourselves in others’ shoes to objectively assess ourselves.

 While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways
>>  While I agree with the lesson, I also think that it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways to form relationships.

Therefore, I strongly disagree to the idea of one being able to be well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
>> Therefore, I strongly disagree with the idea of one being able to be a well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113573 What are the possible causes for having a vice? 이*현 완료 2021-11-04 188
113572 homework 김*연 완료 2021-11-04 127
113571 Homework 오*은 완료 2021-11-04 838
113570 Beauty 기*현 완료 2021-11-04 228
113569 Should adultery be considered a crime? Explain your answer. 이*현 완료 2021-11-04 150
113568 What is your ideal job? 권*윤 완료 2021-11-04 1
113567 Are You Willing to Relocate? 문*현 완료 2021-11-04 315
113566 Homework 권*미 완료 2021-11-04 0
113565 Homework 권*미 완료 2021-11-04 0
113564 Homework 안*영 완료 2021-11-04 526
113563 Tell me about the best vacation you\'ve ever had. 류*주 완료 2021-11-04 574
113562 Do you like surprises? Why or why not? 김*은 완료 2021-11-04 2
113561 working of another country 민*정 완료 2021-11-04 5
113560 What is the funniest and most interesting cartoon you have... 김*은 완료 2021-11-04 2
113559 Thursday homework 류*우 완료 2021-11-04 312
113558 : The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in... 황*하 완료 2021-11-04 136
113557 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-11-04 372
113556 My favorite vacation 이*은 완료 2021-11-04 150
113555 I don\'t believe ghost is real 이*은 완료 2021-11-04 525
113554 Homework 권*미 완료 2021-11-04 2

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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