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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 11042021

작성자: 조*비
2021-11-04 169

회원님의 영작문



Nov 04 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual. Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around. It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others. Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted. For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves. While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thanks for doing your homework. However, please be careful with word usage. 

- Debbie

Nov. 04, 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.
>> When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that having no friends means no happiness because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.

Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
>> This is a good sentence.

However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around.
>> However, I do not think a person can be well-adjusted without any friends around.

 It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others.
>> It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustments and adaptations, and especially when they communicate with others.

Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted.
>> This is a good sentence.

For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
>> For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe others' reactions during interactions.

As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves.
>> As children, we were taught to put ourselves in others’ shoes to objectively assess ourselves.

 While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways
>>  While I agree with the lesson, I also think that it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways to form relationships.

Therefore, I strongly disagree to the idea of one being able to be well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
>> Therefore, I strongly disagree with the idea of one being able to be a well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113612 Homework 오*은 완료 2021-11-05 143
113611 What website do you often use and why? 류*주 완료 2021-11-05 219
113610 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-05 354
113609 Do you think the rich should always give money to the poor? 김*은 완료 2021-11-05 1
113608 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-05 393
113607 Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are... 황*하 완료 2021-11-05 406
113606 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-11-05 127
113605 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-05 192
113604 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-05 158
113603 What would your life be like without your mobile telephone? 김*은 완료 2021-11-05 1
113602 Friday homework 류*우 완료 2021-11-05 121
113601 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-11-05 157
113600 Why I like a children\'s day. 김*성 완료 2021-11-05 182
113599 Why is it hard to stop a vice? 김*묵 완료 2021-11-05 131
113598 Sales Person 유*진 완료 2021-11-05 480
113597 How do you feel after exercising? 문*율 완료 2021-11-05 233
113596 Hire Employees 유*진 완료 2021-11-05 453
113595 Homework😀 박*리 완료 2021-11-05 1004
113594 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-11-05 424
113593 What are working conditions like in your country? 조*인 완료 2021-11-05 144

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