POWER ENGLISH

현재위치

> 영작교정 첨삭 서비스

(Homework) Where is your ideal place for a long vacation and why?

김재영/2025-05-29

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

If I have a long vacation that I don’t need to work at all, I’d like to go Hawaii. Frist of all, I want to take a rest without working, because I’ve worked continuously even during vacations.Second, I’d like to have many kinds of Hawaiian famous food such as LocoMoco, Poke, Kona coffee etc. Last one is activities and local tours.I heard that there are a lot of things to enjoy in Hawaii.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi again, Ray!

Here's your edited composition. Please go over the revisions given below.

Cheers,

Jean~~

Where is your ideal pl,ace for a long vacation and why?

If I have a long vacation that I don’t need to work at all, I’d like to go Hawaii.

>>> If I had a long vacation where I didn’t have to work at all, I’d like to go to Hawaii.

>>> OR: I’d like to go to Hawaii if I had an extended break without any work obligations.

Frist of all, I want to take a rest without working, because I’ve worked continuously even during vacations.

>>> First of all, I want to rest without working because I’ve been working continuously, even during vacations.

>>> OR: First and foremost, I just want to take a break from work since I’ve been working non-stop, even during vacations.

Second, I’d like to have many kinds of Hawaiian famous food such as LocoMoco, Poke, Kona coffee etc.

>>> Second, I’d like to try various famous Hawaiian foods, such as Loco Moco, Poke, Kona coffee, etc.

>>> OR: After that, I’d like to indulge in some of Hawaii’s signature dishes, including Loco Moco, Poke, and Kona coffee.

Last one is activities and local tours.I heard that there are a lot of things to enjoy in Hawaii.

>>> Last, I’m excited about activities and local tours. I’ve heard there’s so much to experience in Hawaii.