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If you could travel abroad and visit three places, where do you want to go and why?

이지윤/2025-05-26

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
All three are different countries. The first country I want to visit is Singapore. Singapore is a place where my mother visited and said it was good. That's why I thought I wanted to go there. Also, there is a Universal Studio in Singapore, and it is an amusement park that I really want to go to, so I really want to go there. The second country I want to visit is Finland. I often thought of going to Northern Europe, but after hearing that there is Santa Village, I thought of it. Also, because the aurora is often visible, I wanted to visit the aurora because I wanted to see it. The thrid country I want to visit is Dubai. This is also one of the places my mother visited and said it was good. I've never been to a Middle Eastern country yet, so I'm curious. I want to visit more because I heard that there are many luxurious places with large deserts and rich people. However, there is a problem of women's rights or unstable security, so I think I wll consider whether to actually visit of not
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi! 

Thanks for sending your writing. You explained your travel wishes really well! I just fixed a few small grammar parts to help it sound more natural in English. Still, you're doing great! I also hope that soon, you'll get the chance to travel to these wonderful places. I also want to visit Finland for the same reason as yours. ^^ 

~ Teacher Gina


All three are different countries.
>>  CORRECT.
>> Or: These are three completely different countries.

The first country I want to visit is Singapore.
>>  CORRECT.
>> Or: Singapore is the first country on my travel list.

Singapore is a place where my mother visited and said it was good.
>>  Singapore is a place my mother visited and said was nice.
>> Or: My mom has been to Singapore and spoke highly of it.

That's why I thought I wanted to go there. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: That made me want to visit there.

Also, there is a Universal Studio in Singapore, and it is an amusement park that I really want to go to, so I really want to go there.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Since Universal Studios is in Singapore, I became even more eager to go.

The second country I want to visit is Finland.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Finland is the second country I’d like to visit.

I often thought of going to Northern Europe, but after hearing that there is Santa Village, I thought of it. 
>> I had often thought about going to Northern Europe, but hearing about Santa Claus Village made me even more interested.
>> Or: I’ve wanted to go to Northern Europe for a while, but Santa Village made Finland stand out to me.

Also, because the aurora is often visible, I wanted to visit the aurora because I wanted to see it.
>> Also, since the aurora is often visible there, I wanted to visit to see it.

The thrid country I want to visit is Dubai.
>> The third country I want to visit is Dubai.

This is also one of the places my mother visited and said it was good. 
>> This is another place my mother visited and said was nice.
>> Or: My mom went there too and said it was a great place.

I've never been to a Middle Eastern country yet, so I'm curious. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: I’m curious because I’ve never traveled to the Middle East.

I want to visit more because I heard that there are many luxurious places with large deserts and rich people. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: What makes me more interested is hearing about the luxury, deserts, and wealth in Dubai.

However, there is a problem of women's rights or unstable security, so I think I wll consider whether to actually visit of not
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Still, I’m a bit concerned about safety and women’s rights, so I’m not sure yet if I’ll go.
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