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영작교정 첨삭 서비스
Discuss your earliest memory as a child.
박순호/2025-04-25
회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I come from the countryside. My parents were farmers and raised various livestock such as cows, goats, rabbits, pigs, etc. And we had many dogs and cats in our house.
I always loved playing with dogs. And sometimes they would bite and tear my clothes and hurt me. So, I got scolded by my mother sometimes, but I really liked dogs. And I also loved watching the cat catch the mouse.
When the cat caught the mouse, I saw it wait really patiently for a long time until the mouse came out of the hole.
It was really fun.
And I couldn't play with cows because they were too big, but I think I played with calves, too.
And I have good memories with my mother. Although my mother did not finish elementary school, she taught me Korean letters, Hangul and numbers before I even entered elementary school. Thanks to my mother, I was able to get good grades in elementary school.
I really love and respect my mother. I hope she lives a long and healthy life.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Mr. Park^^
I appreciate you sharing those things about your family.
I appreciate you sharing those things about your family.
Actually, you already shared those details about your parents multiple times in your writing activities though.
Try sharing other things to practice expressing your thoughts more.
So, what's your earliest memory as a child? It seems like you didn't answer the question though.
In your answer, you are simply talking about your childhood, not a specific part of it or not a specific memory.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I come from the countryside.
Try sharing other things to practice expressing your thoughts more.
So, what's your earliest memory as a child? It seems like you didn't answer the question though.
In your answer, you are simply talking about your childhood, not a specific part of it or not a specific memory.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I come from the countryside.
>>Correct
OR: My hometown is in the countryside.
My parents were farmers and raised various livestock such as cows, goats, rabbits, pigs, etc.
OR: My hometown is in the countryside.
My parents were farmers and raised various livestock such as cows, goats, rabbits, pigs, etc.
>>Correct
OR: My parents were farmers and raised different animals namely cows, goats, rabbits, pigs, etc.
OR: My parents were farmers and raised different animals namely cows, goats, rabbits, pigs, etc.
And we had many dogs and cats in our house.
>>Correct
OR: And we had many pet dogs and cats in our house.
I always loved playing with dogs.
OR: And we had many pet dogs and cats in our house.
I always loved playing with dogs.
>>Correct
OR: I enjoyed playing with dogs.
And sometimes they would bite and tear my clothes and hurt me.
OR: I enjoyed playing with dogs.
And sometimes they would bite and tear my clothes and hurt me.
>>Correct
OR: But sometimes they would bite and rip my clothes.
OR: But sometimes they would get too rough and end up biting and tearing my clothes.
So, I got scolded by my mother sometimes, but I really liked dogs.
OR: But sometimes they would bite and rip my clothes.
OR: But sometimes they would get too rough and end up biting and tearing my clothes.
So, I got scolded by my mother sometimes, but I really liked dogs.
>>Correct
OR: So, I was reprimanded by my mother.
And I also loved watching the cat catch the mouse.
OR: So, I was reprimanded by my mother.
And I also loved watching the cat catch the mouse.
>>Correct
OR: In addition, I loved watching the cat go after the mouse.
When the cat caught the mouse, I saw it wait really patiently for a long time until the mouse came out of the hole.
OR: In addition, I loved watching the cat go after the mouse.
When the cat caught the mouse, I saw it wait really patiently for a long time until the mouse came out of the hole.
>>Correct
OR: I watched as the cat wait patiently until the mouse came out of the hole.
It was really fun.
OR: I watched as the cat wait patiently until the mouse came out of the hole.
It was really fun.
>>Correct
OR: I had such a great time.
And I couldn't play with cows because they were too big, but I think I played with calves, too.
OR: I had such a great time.
And I couldn't play with cows because they were too big, but I think I played with calves, too.
>>Correct
OR: Cows were too big to play with, but I did play with the calves.
And I have good memories with my mother.
OR: Cows were too big to play with, but I did play with the calves.
And I have good memories with my mother.
>>Correct
OR: Also, I have many fond memories with my mother.
Although my mother did not finish elementary school, she taught me Korean letters, Hangul and numbers before I even entered elementary school.
OR: Also, I have many fond memories with my mother.
Although my mother did not finish elementary school, she taught me Korean letters, Hangul and numbers before I even entered elementary school.
>>Although my mother did not finish elementary school, she taught me Hangul, the Korean letters, and numbers before I even entered elementary school.
Thanks to my mother, I was able to get good grades in elementary school.
Thanks to my mother, I was able to get good grades in elementary school.
>>Correct
OR: With my mother's help, I got good grades in elementary school.
I really love and respect my mother.
OR: With my mother's help, I got good grades in elementary school.
I really love and respect my mother.
>>Correct
OR: I deeply love and admire my mother.
I hope she lives a long and healthy life.
OR: I deeply love and admire my mother.
I hope she lives a long and healthy life.
>>Correct
OR: May she live a long and healthy life.
Sample answer:
One of my earliest memories as a child is sitting in front of our small house in the countryside, playing with the dirt and watching ants carry food. I remember the warm sun on my skin and the sound of birds in the trees. It was a simple moment, but it made me feel peaceful and curious about the little world around me. That memory always reminds me of hose calm and carefree childhood can be.
OR: May she live a long and healthy life.
Sample answer:
One of my earliest memories as a child is sitting in front of our small house in the countryside, playing with the dirt and watching ants carry food. I remember the warm sun on my skin and the sound of birds in the trees. It was a simple moment, but it made me feel peaceful and curious about the little world around me. That memory always reminds me of hose calm and carefree childhood can be.
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