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Who is your all-time favorite sports star? Why?

이지윤/2025-04-23

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Please, checked the attached file. Have a nice day!
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Yun! 

Thank you for submitting your answers to me. 
I knew about athlete Kim Yeon-koung through a Korean program. 
And she's really considered a legend. It was also nice to know about athlete Ahn Se-young.
I think aside from their amazing skills in their chosen sports, they also have strong characters. 
They are women who are not afraid to expose the wrongdoings to make things right. 
I salute them. Thank you for sharing. ^^ 

~ Teacher Gina



Well, there are so many sports stars that I like. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: There are so many athletes I admire.

During the Olympics, I liked a fencing players, I liked short-track players. 
>> During the Olympics, I liked fencing players and short-track speed skaters.

During ordinary season, I liked soccer players, I liked baseball and basketball players. 
>> During ordinary or regular seasons, I liked soccer, baseball, and basketball players.

I changed my mind a lot.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: My preferences changed a lot over time.

But these days, I like two female sports stars the most.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Lately, there are two female athletes I admire the most.

The first player is Kim Yeon-koung in women's volleyball.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: The first is Kim Yeon-koung, a women's volleyball player.

She is a famous star in volleyball and she called Empress. 
>> She is a famous star in volleyball and is called the Empress.

With a cool personality, many people are enthusiastic about her aggressive and sensual  play. 
>> With a cool personality, many people are enthusiastic about her aggressive and dynamic play. 

I like her leadership. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Her leadership really stands out to me.

But I'm very sorry to hear that she's retiring from her career this year.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: But I’m sad to hear that she’s retiring this year.

Her straightforward words are sometimes problematic, but she is necessary for the development of women's volleyball because she speaks coolly of the dark side of our women's vollyball.
>> Her straightforward words are sometimes problematic, but she is necessary for the development of women's volleyball because she openly speaks about its dark side.
>> Or: Her straightforward comments can be controversial, but she’s important for the development of Korean women’s volleyball because she openly speaks about its darker side.

The second player is Ahn Se-young from badminton.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: The second athlete is Ahn Se-young, a badminton player.

She is at the same age as me.
>> She is the same age as me.

But she is the queen of badminton who won all three of the world's championships. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: She’s known as the queen of badminton, having won all three major world championships.

She was even more moved to win despite her injury. 
>> It was even more touching that she won despite her injury.

She is known as a player who rallies for a long time based on her excellent physical strength and is good at both attack and defense.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: She’s known for her long rallies, strong stamina, and balanced skills in both offense and defense.

After the Paris Olympics, she also exposed the problems of the Korean Badminton Association to the media, which led to direct investigation of the association and revealed insolvency and problems. 
>> After the Paris Olympics, she exposed problems within the Korean Badminton Association, which led to an official investigation and uncovered serious issues.

But she made a spectacular comeback by taking a break and managing her injuries and winning another world tournament.
>> CORRECT>
>> Or: She made a remarkable comeback after taking a break to recover, eventually winning another major tournament.
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