I feel pitiful to them. I want to help them but I may get wrong with them. And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

Hi Jenna,

You did a great job expressing your feelings in this writing. I can tell that you have a kind heart and truly care about people who are homeless or in need, and that is something to be proud of. You were honest about your thoughts and feelings, and that’s very special. To make your writing even better, let me give you a few small tips. Instead of saying “I feel pitiful to them,” it’s more natural to say “I feel sorry for them” or “I feel sad for them.” Also, when you wrote, “I want to help them but I may get wrong with them,” I understand what you mean — that you want to help but you’re not sure how, or you’re worried about doing something wrong. A clearer way to say this could be, “I want to help them, but I’m afraid I might make a mistake.” Lastly, when you said “the homeless problem is so scared,” I think you meant it feels scary or difficult to fix. You could try saying, “The homeless problem is hard to solve,” or “It can feel scary sometimes.” Overall, I’m really proud of you for trying to write about something so meaningful. Keep it up! You're improving with every sentence you write.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I feel pitiful to them.

>>I feel pity for them.

OR>>I feel sad for them.

I want to help them but I may get wrong with them.

>>I want to help them, but I’m afraid I might make a mistake.

And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

>>I also think it's hard to help the homeless because it can feel scary sometimes.