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김우인/2025-04-03

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

In my daily life I sometimes feel I use my phone too much. It is my habit to just turn on the phone and solve the password unconsciously, although I have no need to use it immediately. This leads to accessing entertaining apps such as YouTube or Instagram. As I enter them, my scrolling starts, and doesn't end until my mind comes back to reality. The time that it takes to return to reality is sometimes more than an hour, and this is when I feel I spend so much time on my phone meaninglessly. Addictive reels and shorts which stimulate secretion of dopamine in every moment I scroll the screen, is the main factor that makes me to use phone excessively.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! It sounds like you're describing a pretty common experience—feeling almost pulled into a cycle of mindless scrolling due to apps designed to grab your attention. It’s tough to break habits, especially with all the design tricks that keep you coming back, but being mindful and taking small steps to regain control can make a big difference over time.

-T. Sonny
In my daily life I sometimes feel I use my phone too much.

>>In my daily life, I sometimes feel that I use my phone too much.

It is my habit to just turn on the phone and solve the password unconsciously, although I have no need to use it immediately.

>>It has become a habit to just turn on the phone and enter the password unconsciously, even though I have no need to use it immediately.

This leads to accessing entertaining apps such as YouTube or Instagram.

>>Correct!

As I enter them, my scrolling starts, and doesn't end until my mind comes back to reality.

>>Correct!

The time that it takes to return to reality is sometimes more than an hour, and this is when I feel I spend so much time on my phone meaninglessly.

>>The time it takes to return to reality is sometimes more than an hour, and this is when I feel I have spent too much time on my phone meaninglessly.

Addictive reels and shorts which stimulate secretion of dopamine in every moment I scroll the screen, is the main factor that makes me to use phone excessively.

>>Addictive reels and shorts, which stimulate the secretion of dopamine with every moment I scroll the screen, are the main factors that make me use my phone excessively.