POWER ENGLISH

현재위치

> 영작교정 첨삭 서비스

What's your take on solo living becoming a norm?

문가현/2025-03-22

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

Even though there will be a disadvantage of agitating loneliness and leading our society to egoism, solo living is inevitable in the declining birth rate and marriage rate. 35.5% percent of the household in South Korea live alone and birth rate and marriage rate are the lowest amongst OECD nations. Therefore, Government is coming up with a financial incentive to tackle the issues. For instance, Busan offers residents up to US$38,000 to encourage dating and marriage. However, it costs around US$271,957 to raise the children to 18 in South Korea. On the top of that, many females are opting out from marriage in the fear of career interruption which is prevalent in Asian culture. Korea has grown upon collectivism and support when there were difficulties. However, due to the above reasons, I believe solo living should be a widely accepted norm and society needs to be prepared to tackle the issues associated with this movement.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for tbs Aciel. Enjoy your weekend!

Even though there will be a disadvantage of agitating loneliness and leading our society to egoism, solo living is inevitable in the declining birth rate and marriage rate.

>>> correct

>>> OR: Even though there are disadvantages such as agitating loneliness and leading our society to egoism, solo living is inevitable in the declining birth rate and marriage rate.

35.5% percent of the household in South Korea live alone and birth rate and marriage rate are the lowest amongst OECD nations.

>>> OR: 35.5% of South Korean households live alone, and the birth and marriage rates are the lowest amongst OECD nations.

Therefore, Government is coming up with a financial incentive to tackle the issues.

>>> Therefore, the government is coming up with a financial incentive/subsidy to tackle the issues.

For instance, Busan offers residents up to US$38,000 to encourage dating and marriage.

>>> correct

However, it costs around US$271,957 to raise the children to 18 in South Korea.

>>> However, it costs around US$271,957 to raise a child until the age of 18 in South Korea.

On the top of that, many females are opting out from marriage in the fear of career interruption which is prevalent in Asian culture.

>>> On top of that, many females are opting out of marriage in fear of career interruption which is prevalent in Asian culture.

Korea has grown upon collectivism and support when there were difficulties.

>>> correct

However, due to the above reasons, I believe solo living should be a widely accepted norm and society needs to be prepared to tackle the issues associated with this movement.

>>> correct