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심윤아/2025-03-13

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

If I could travel soon, I would like to go to Hawaii. I want to go there because I heard that all my friends have been there. I felt a bit jealous, so my mom said I can go there during summer vacation.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Bella!

If I could travel soon, I would like to go to Hawaii.

>>> correct

I want to go there because I heard that all my friends have been there.

>>> correct

>>> OR: I want to go there because I've heard so much about it from all my friends who have been there.

I felt a bit jealous, so my mom said I can go there during summer vacation.

>>> correct

>>> OR: I felt a bit jealous, so my mom said I can go there on my summer vacation.