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이유민/2025-03-12

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think the happiness lies within me. Of course other people and external things also affect it but the most important thing is my mindset. Most people envy others who have something they don’t have. In other words, someone envy me because of something I have. I have my own strengths. Happiness is very objective so I try to be positive at same conditions. If we spend all time regretting last days or envying others, we can’t enjoy our present life. When I was gloomy, I tried to change my mind and find the reasons made me blue.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yumin!!!


I can see you're trying hard to learn. Your discipline is good, keep it up. Keep applying in your daily life what you learn everyday. Knowledge will give you power. Power will give the confidence that you need.  You can do it, if others can, so can you. Enjoy your day! ^^
T. Jeny


I think the happiness lies within me.
>>correct
 Of course, other people and external things also affect it but the most important thing is my mindset. 
>>correct
Most people envy others who have something they don’t have.
>>correct
 In other words, someone envy me because of something I have. 
>> In other words, someone envies me because of something I have. 
I have my own strengths. Happiness is very objective so I try to be positive at same conditions. 
>>I have my own strengths. Happiness is very objective so I try to be positive under the same conditions. 
If we spend all time regretting last days or envying others, we can’t enjoy our present life.
>>If we spend all our time regretting our last days or envying others, we can’t enjoy our present life.
 When I was gloomy, I tried to change my mind and find the reasons made me blue.
>>When I was gloomy, I tried to change my mind and find the reasons that made me blue.
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