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How did breaking a sweat at the public bathroom help you feel more relaxed?

노승철/2025-03-03

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

When I do a lot of work or think a lot about it, I find my muscles very tense. At that times, I have to relax my muscles, and I think going to a public bath is the best way. If I soak myself in warm water or use a sauna, I can sweat a lot and relax my muscles. Sometimes if I get a massage from a masseur, there's nothing better. However, if I stay in the public bathroom for too long, I sweat too much, so I feel more tired. Our muscles also need some tension for health.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David! Your response is well-structured and effectively conveys your thoughts on the topic. Just be mindful of minor grammar details, such as using "those times" instead of "that times," and making slight wording adjustments for better clarity. Keep up the great work!

~ T. Lia

When I do a lot of work or think a lot about it, I find my muscles very tense.
>> CORRECT

At that times, I have to relax my muscles, and I think going to a public bath is the best way.
>> At those times, I have to relax my muscles, and I think going to a public bath is the best way.

If I soak myself in warm water or use a sauna, I can sweat a lot and relax my muscles.
>> CORRECT

Sometimes if I get a massage from a masseur, there's nothing better.
>> Sometimes, if I get a massage from a masseur, there's nothing better.

However, if I stay in the public bathroom for too long, I sweat too much, so I feel more tired.
>> However, if I stay in the public bath for too long, I sweat too much, so I feel more tired.

Our muscles also need some tension for health.
>> Our muscles also need some tension to stay healthy.