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이유민/2025-02-24

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

When I hear the term 'animal rights', I think that people is also animal. So we don't have any right to treat animal thoughtlessly. Animal like cats and dogs are just another species. If we want to take care of animals, we have to take a resposibility of them. And all animals need the animal rights. Not only cute and adorable animals but ordinary animals that people doesn't like. So we need to have equal animal rights for every animals.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yumin,

I really appreciate your commitment and dedication to learn. Keep the fire in you burning. I know that there's a lot more to discover in you and a lot of potentials to bring out!

T. Jeny

When I hear the term 'animal rights', I think that people is also animal.

>>When I hear the term 'animal rights,' I think that people are also animals.

So we don't have any right to treat animal thoughtlessly.

>>correct

Animal like cats and dogs are just another species.

>>Animals like cats and dogs are just another species.

If we want to take care of animals, we have to take a responsibility of them.

>>If we want to take care of animals, we have to take responsibility for them.

And all animals need the animal rights.

>> And all animals need animal rights.

OR>>All animals should be protected by animal rights.

Not only cute and adorable animals but ordinary animals that people doesn't like.

>>Not only cute and adorable animals but ordinary animals that people don't like.

So we need to have equal animal rights for every animals.

>>So, we need to have equal animal rights for every animal.