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이유민/2025-05-05

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

I don’t think that only money can make us happy but I agree money can buy happiness. And I feel that again for last trip. I used a lot of money for Japan trip because it’s my mom’s first abroad trip. We ate a lot of nice food and bathed in the hot springs. We were very happy during travel. Money is important in not only trip but also daily life. When I felt stressful I usually dealt with eating craving food like cake or chicken. It’s just a small bit of happiness that money can buy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Megan^^
Thank you for sharing.
I agree with you.
Yes, indeed it can buy happiness.
Although there are other ways for us to be happy.
_T. SHAY ^^
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I don’t think that only money can make us happy but I agree money can buy happiness.

>>I don't think that only money can make us happy, but I also agree that money can buy happiness.

And I feel that again for last trip.

>>And I felt that again during my last trip.

I used a lot of money for Japan trip because it’s my mom’s first abroad trip.

>>I used a lot of money for our Japan trip because it was my mom's first abroad trip.

We ate a lot of nice food and bathed in the hot springs.

>>Correct
OR: We enjoyed plenty of delicious food and relaxed in hot springs.
We were very happy during travel.

>>We were very happy during the trip.
OR: We were very happy while traveling.

Money is important in not only trip but also daily life.

>>Money is important not only in trips but also in our daily life.

When I felt stressful I usually dealt with eating craving food like cake or chicken.

>>When I feel stressed, I usually deal with it by eating food that I crave for like cake or chicken.

It’s just a small bit of happiness that money can buy.

>>Correct
OR: It's a simple joy that money can buy.