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First essay!!

이유민/2025-01-22

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change. So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. So it was raining almost everyday. But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long. And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. Their boundary is very ambiguous. For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring. But yellow dust severely appeared on January
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yumin!!!

I encourage you to to assess yourself and set up your goals, these goals are ownership or your learnings. So start setting up your goals if life and especially in setting up your goals in learning English these are your treasures. I can see you your potentials in speaking keep it up.!!!!
T. Jeny


Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change.
>>Summer has become longer and hotter because of climate change.
 So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. 
>>So the UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period was in August. 
So it was raining almost everyday. 
>>So it was raining almost every day.
But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. 
>>Correct
OR>>But for last year, it rained occasionally.
Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. 
>>Correct
But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long.
>>But nowadays, spring and fall are too short, and summer and winter are too long.
 And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. 
>>Spring is also cold like winter, and fall is also hot like summer. 
Their boundary is very ambiguous.
>>Correct
 For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring.
>>For example, yellow dust was only common in spring.
 But yellow dust severely appeared on January
>>But now we can experience yellow dust as early as January.
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