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stupid

권경희/2025-01-15

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
The agency business such kinds of rental parnters should not be permitted at the national level. This make human degenerate faster and faster. If it is a nation, it should ban dangerous things that threat and make sick mentally people. Even nations , tech- companies and new companies pursue only money regardless of morality and healthy society.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Ms. Lily!
Many people are becoming less sensitive as long as they are paid well. They think that "doing right" is better than being kind. 
These services may not address the root causes of the problems and could potentially exploit vulnerable individuals. I hope this could also be one of the major concerns of the government.
Have a good day!
Aki~

The agency business such kinds of rental parnters should not be permitted at the national level.
>>> The agency business involving such rental partners should not be allowed at the national level.

This make human degenerate faster and faster.
>>>  This causes humans to degenerate more rapidly.

If it is a nation, it should ban dangerous things that threat and make sick mentally people.
>>> If it is a nation, it should ban dangerous things that threaten and harm people's mental health.

Even nations , tech- companies and new companies pursue only money regardless of morality and healthy society.
>>> Even nations, tech companies, and new businesses often prioritize profit over morality and the well-being of society.
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