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류영주/2025-01-03

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Q: Do you think social activities are more important for children or adults? Why? A: I think social activities are more important for children. Social activities can make children know how to interact with others and more about the relationship with others in society. But still, I think social activities are also important for adults because people can't live alone.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Paul!
Great effort! You’ve explained your opinion well. Work on refining sentence flow and word choice to make your ideas even clearer.
~ Teacher Trixia

CONTENT:
I think social activities are more important for children.
- I think social activities are more important for children. 
Social activities can make children know how to interact with others and more about the relationship with others in society.
- Social activities help children learn how to interact with others and understand relationships in society. 
But still, I think social activities are also important for adults because people can't live alone.
- However, I think social activities are also important for adults because people can’t live alone.
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