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What might happen if you don’t use any phones in a day, week, month or year?

한다연/2024-12-23

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
If I don't use any phones in a day, I might be a little happy. Because, I don't have to take care about any situations from society. I can only concentrate on myself. But, If I don't use any phones over the week, I might be stuffy. Because, I can't contact with my friends and also parents promptly. And I can't find my directions to go anywhere, search for news, and find anything that I don't know. When I think about this situation, I think about the importance of phones one more time.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Nicole,
Thank you for sharing your ideas through a composition. Keep it up!
~ T. Demi ^^

If I don't use any phones in a day, I might be a little happy.
>> If I don’t use my phone for a day, I might feel a little happy.
Because, I don't have to take care about any situations from society.
>> This is because I don’t have to worry about any situations in society.
I can only concentrate on myself.
CORRECT!
OR>> I can focus entirely on myself.
But, If I don't use any phones over the week, I might be stuffy.
>> However, if I don’t use my phone for a whole week, I might feel stifled.
Because, I can't contact with my friends and also parents promptly.
>>This is because I can’t promptly contact my friends or parents.
And I can't find my directions to go anywhere, search for news, and find anything that I don't know.
>> I also wouldn’t be able to find directions, look up news, or search for things I don’t know.
When I think about this situation, I think about the importance of phones one more time.
>>When I reflect on this, I realize once again how important phones are.
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