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Homework

김순님/2024-12-17

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
It is kind of disease which sex chromosome's position was wrong. If they behave against gender, it can be caused another disease. Person's sprit is high position than desire of their body. So they have to control their desires if it can ruin other's life. Therefore I will not support their behavior.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello Ms. Sunny!
I understand your point. While the world is normalizing this phenomenon, I would still stand by my principle. I respect these minority groups but sorry to say that I don't agree with their practices and behavior especially if the society is involved. 
Thank you for this homework and I appreciate your effort to express yourself in English.
Aki~

It is kind of disease which sex chromosome's position was wrong.
>>> It is a kind of disease in which the sex chromosome's position is wrong.

If they behave against gender, it can be caused another disease.
>>> If they behave against their gender, it can cause another disease.

Person's sprit is high position than desire of their body.
>>> A person's spirit is higher than the desire of their body.

So they have to control their desires if it can ruin other's life.
>>> So they have to control their desires if they can ruin other's lives.

Therefore I will not support their behavior.
>>> CORRECT!
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