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What are your thoughts on kids having slumber parties regularly?

차진혁/2024-12-10

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think kids having slumber parties regularly is very good because kids are make a good day. And kids very friendly are friends.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please go over the revisions given below. Good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       


                              What are your thoughts on kids having slumber parties regularly?


I think kids having slumber parties regularly is very good because kids are make a good day.
>> I think kids having slumber parties regularly is very good because they enjoy their day.

And kids very friendly are friends.
>> And kids become close to their friends. 

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