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> 영작교정 첨삭 서비스

It's a message that makes childhood is so tired.

이아형/2024-11-26

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything". But I think It is not good message. This is because most people are good at something and bad at something. But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly. Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for doing your essay Ms. Ella! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything".

>>> People often tell children, "If you try hard enough, you can do anything."

But I think It is not good message.

>>> I believe it's not always the best message.

This is because most people are good at something and bad at something.

>>>The truth is, everyone is good at some things and not so good at others.

But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.

>>> But it's important to note that just because we struggle with something doesn't mean we should give up quickly.

Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on.

>>> Sometimes, it's more about enjoying the process and being satisfied with our progress, rather than just aiming for perfection. For example, learning a foreign language, playing the piano, or exercising

We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.

>>> We can find joy in these activities, and by doing so, we can improve and grow over time.