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Yes!!

최서연/2024-11-21

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Yes it’s really important to whoever. If it has bad intention like fling mud at one, it’s better not to hear that. However, except that annoying situation, it gives me more colorful judgment. And even though I knew already caution, I can keep in mind and consider my choice with cautions. Even if I don't follow the advice I’ve heard, it's very helpful to simulate it in my head.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Seo Yeon!~
You were correct in stating that it is beneficial to listen to other people's advice but does not imply that you should always accept it. It may have been effective in their experience, but it may not be in yours, therefore we need to be mindful to determine what has to be done.
Chammy  
Yes, it’s really important to whoever.
OR
>> Yes, it is essential to everyone.
 If it has bad intention like fling mud at one, it’s better not to hear that.
>> If it has bad intentions like flinging mud at one, it’s better not to hear that.
 However, except that annoying situation, it gives me more colorful judgment. 
>> However, except for that annoying situation, it gives me more colorful judgment. 
OR
>>But aside from that undesirable circumstance, it helps me make bolder decisions. 
And even though I knew already caution, I can keep in mind and consider my choice with cautions. 
>> And if I already learned to be cautious, I can keep it in mind and consider my choice carefully
Even if I don't follow the advice I’ve heard, it's very helpful to simulate it in my head.
OR
>> Even if I don't act on the advice I've received, mentally simulating it is extremely beneficial.
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