영작교정 첨삭 서비스

현재위치

Home > 영작교정 첨삭 서비스

Homework

김순님/2024-11-06

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Our government gives a lot of benefits to the people. Especially baby's moms and elderly have more it. Elderly's Basic pension system have been introduced for 10 years. 70% of over 65 year old can get a pension from government. And also government gives the jobs which is kind of picking some garbage. So elderly can recieve 600 dollars everymonth. My mom goes to free restaurant served by government for lunch. Many benefits are following for them . But many old people can't afford their hospital fee. If their symptoms are seriously.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Ms. Sunny!
People who pay taxes are delighted when we see where our taxes are going. It should be given for the welfare of the citizen and not for the politician only.
Have a great day!
Aki~

Our government gives a lot of benefits to the people.
>>> CORRECT!

Especially baby's moms and elderly have more it.
>>> Especially for new moms and elderly people.

Elderly's Basic pension system have been introduced for 10 years.
>>> Elderly's basic pension system has been introduced for 10 years.

70% of over 65 year old can get a pension from government.
>>> 70% of those over 65 years old can get a pension from the government.

And also government gives the jobs which is kind of picking some garbage.
>>> And also the government gives easy jobs like picking up some garbage.

So elderly can recieve 600 dollars everymonth.
>>> So these elderly people can receive 600 dollars every month.

My mom goes to free restaurant served by government for lunch.
>>> My mom goes to a free restaurant served by the government for lunch.

Many benefits are following for them .
>>> CORRECT!

But many old people can't afford their hospital fee.
>>> But many old people can't afford their hospital fees.

If their symptoms are seriously.
>>>  If their symptoms are serious.
이전글 목록 다음글