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How would the world look if everyone had the same talents?
김영순/2024-10-04
회원님의 올려주신 영작문
If everyone had the same talents,that is an equal opportunity.
That"s why people might think the world is the same.
However,hard work is as important as talents.
Depend on making an effort, the world can be changed, but talent only can"t be.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi Young Soon!
Thank you for all your hard work.
I wish you all the best.
Never stop working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
If everyone had the same talents,that is an equal opportunity.
>> If everyone had the same talents, that would lead to equal opportunity.
That"s why people might think the world is the same.
That"s why people might think the world is the same.
>> That might be the reason why people would think that the world is the same.
However,hard work is as important as talents.
However,hard work is as important as talents.
>> However, hard work is as important as talent.
Depend on making an effort, the world can be changed, but talent only can"t be.
Depend on making an effort, the world can be changed, but talent only can"t be.
>> Depending on how much effort we put in, the world can be changed but not including talent.
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